The Storyteller, by Jodi Picoult

Lisa hosted another fun-filled evening with lots (and lots) of loud (very loud) conversation.  Dinner was a soup bar with baked potato soup and a Santa Fe soup.  Neither of which had rotten turnips or sand, which would have followed the theme of the book, but we were delighted nonetheless.  It was also gracious of her to serve the soup in bowls versus off the floor, Auschwitz-style.  Thank you, Lisa!

The evening was filled with lots of vagina talk, partly because of our newest member, Sarah Rybarski, and her job as a labor & delivery nurse.  But don't let that fool you into thinking that's the only reason we talked so much about that.  It seems that the human anatomy is one of our favorite topics of conversation.  Actually, doesn't even have to be human, now that I think of it (might I remind you about many a conversation regarding dogs' anal glands, which for some reason managed to be a favorite topic at several of our monthly meetings).

Part of our anatomy talk included the discovery that there's apparently a hormone cream that can be prescribed by one's pediatrician to dissolve excess skin on a shoddy circumcision.  Who knew!?  This is great news for those of you who have boys with jacked-up junk.  Yay!

It's been said before (again and again and again), but it was brought up once a-freaking-gain about that one fateful evening when Sunday was fah-REAKING out about the number of RSVP's she had for that evening's book club.  In an effort to calm a friend in a state of panic, Lisa and I determined that I would be The One to  address the club and announce that there would be a moratorium on recruiting new members.  Might I remind you, this was three years ago... maybe four??

Apparently there was a vote at said meeting (although I have no memory of this vote and I find that this particular evening's events become more dramatic and, frankly, quite an ugly portrayal of yours truly, each time the story is recounted), and the newbies, as well as those who invited them, were put on the spot and made to feel awkward.

Please allow me this opportunity (one more effing time) to apologize to all of those who were offended and/or made to feel small, unwelcome, or unworthy.  Your discomfort was never my intention and I - from the bottom of my freaking heart - hope that you do not continue to harbor hold this against me.  When you realize that the events of that evening came from my heart and for my deep love for a dear, soon-to-be-divorced friend, surely you can understand the position I found myself in.  Surely you can get over it forgive me and chalk it up to a friend being there for a friend.  After all, it's Sunday's fault you would have done the same thing.

Let's see.... oh!  The book!  The Storyteller was given probably a 3.5 stars by the group.  It was good - well written, probably historically accurate, etc.  But the consensus was that it was a hard read, just because of the subject matter.  That aside, we weren't in love with the fact that Picoult interwove so many stories together.  It was a little much to keep up with.  There was the story of the main character and her love interest, then the story of the grandmother and her experiences in WWII, then there was the story the grandmother was writing, which was very Twilight-y and just bizarre.


A few recommended reads to tide you over until next month's meeting:
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons, by Lorna Landvik
Those Who Save Us, by Jenna Blum

See you next month, girls - Happy Reading!
~Kristan

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? By Mindy Kaling

Ana was the host of our February meeting, where we talked about this funny, quick-read of Mindy Kaling's. To honor Kaling's Indian heritage, Ana made Tikka masala (a spicy stew) with Basmati rice and Moscow Mules to drink.

While we did discuss the book's humor and how it was kind-of annoying how Kaling jumped all over the map, most of the evening was filled with important conversation ranging from new discoveries (female dogs emit a more vile gas than male dogs - this is scientifically proven) to current events (who knew that even in the year 2013, being stranded on a ship means you'll be taking dookies in plastic bags and setting it outside your door for housekeeping to pick up?).

We had to also hash out Mia's work drama, which consists of her effervescent, ultra-gay co-worker who she's pretty sure is a sociapath contemplating her murder for contradicting him in an email. The lesson here? NEVER contradict a gay man. It's a personal affront and you may as well tell him that his outfit doesn't match or that Barbra Streisand is dead. You just don't do it.

Late in the evening, I gave a jaw-dropping and absolutely stunning narrative about the upcoming March book selection, The Storyteller, by Jodi Picoult. Truly. If it's made into a movie, everyone agreed I should play the lead role. Ok, we didn't even really talk about that at all, but I know that if we had, everyone would have agreed with me on that.

We rounded out our meal with mini bundt cakes, one with lit candles for a little birthday dittty for Marilyn, whose birthday was a week prior. There were three mini bundtlets. That was about 12 to few. Since there weren't that many, a few of us (I won't name names) got our - I mean their - share of sugar by scraping the packages and eating the icing with their fingers.

Ana, you put on such a great party - we loved meeting your friends, Clarissa and Christina, and it was great to see Tiffany again. Your house is so beautiful, it just sucks that it's on the Texas/Mexico border. I can't believe how far south you are!! Thank you for making all the delicious food and drinks for us!!